Every morning, Shrek wakes up and trudges to his office. It ain't fun being the CEO of an ogreempire. He's got tons of paperwork to deal with, meetings with annoying fairies, and the constant threat of donkey shenanigans.

To top it all off, he's gotta battle the monotony. Sometimes he dreams of just staying in his swamp with a good bowl of gunk, but duty calls. He sighs and throws on his fancy pants. Another day, another sack of ogre rupees.

Swamp Thing Corporate: They Know

Ya'll feel/sense/know it in your bones. The corporate/biz/establishment swamp/quagmire/sludge is real, and it's thick/churning/sticky. Big/The/Shady money calls the shots/controls everything/runs the show, leaving/screwing over/trampling the rest of us. It's a system/machine/structure rigged against the little guy/ordinary people/you and me.

• We're/They're/You're all just stuck/trapped/chained in this mess/circus/nightmare.
• It's/This is/That's time/past time/high time to fight back/break free/make a change.
• Let's/We can/They should drain the swamp/expose the truth/hold them accountable.

Don't/Ever/Never let them tell you/fool you/brainwash you into believing/thinking/accepting that this is just how things are. We deserve/can have/must fight for a better/fairer/just world.

Swamp Life > The Grind

Listen here, partner. This ain't your daddy's cubicle farm . Out here in the swamps , life moves at a more natural flow. You get your hands dirty, sure, but you also get to hear the birds sing. No boss breathing down your neck out here. Just the croaking frogs and the whispering wind . It's a good life , ya know? One you can't find in no corporate ladder climb.

Farquaad's the Big Cheese Send Help

This sucks. Working for him/that little tyrant/the Short King is awful/terrible/a living nightmare. He's always yelling/constantly on my case/demanding impossible things and expects me to be perfect/treat him like royalty/clean his boots. I talked back once, and let me tell you, it was a horrible experience. Now he's watching me like a hawk/making my life hell/threatening to turn me into an ogre.

I just need website to disappear. Maybe a fairy godmother/a dragon/one of those talking donkeys could help me escape/give me some advice/teach me how to fight Farquaad.

{

* I'm pretty sure he's going to fire me/turn me into a frog/make me his jester.

* I can't take it anymore/stand this/deal with this.

* Please, someone, rescue me!

Full Time Ogre, Part Time Meme Lord

He's a real savage, but in the best way possible. This dude lives and breathes that green goodness. When he's not laying waste to villages, you can catch him crafting memes. This OGRE has mastered the art of being a digital mischief-maker.

• His memes are legendary
• That sweet, sweet internet validation fuels him
• Don't anger the meme lord

Weekend Forecast: 100% Swamped

Well folks, you better grab your boots and mosquito repellent 'cause this weekend is gonna be a real slogger. We're lookin' at intense rain all day in and day out with temperatures in the low 90s. If you're thinkin' about headin' outdoors, best pack some extra protection and a raincoat. It might even be good for gettin' that crocodile watchin' in.